Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Sunday, April 14, 2013

A Rough Diamond

Dear A           ,
We were excited at the prospect of reading--and possibly publishing--a comic strip. It's always nice to have a good chuckle, as I'm sure our readers agree.  Your piece, though has flaws.
For one it's not a comic strip. Upon closer reading of your cover letter I notice that you say it is merely a "suggestion for a comic strip."  We don't publish mere "suggestions!"
Number two.  I think it'd be funnier if your descriptions mirrored the scientific sophistication of the individual being described. The professor should be described as "a metastable allotrope of carbon arranged in a variation of the face-centered cubic diamond lattice crystal structure."(1) Then you would be "a lumpy bit of sandstone, kinda mashed together".
As it was no diamond in the rough, your piece is rejected.
Best regards,
Caleb Emmons
(1) basically stolen from Wikipedia's article on diamonds.

Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection
Twitter: @JUnivRejection

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