Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

Search This Blog

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Time for the Metric System

Dear Dr. E           ,

Thank you for submitting your screed "Going Metric: a Renewed Call for Adoption of the Metric System in the U.S." to the Journal of Universal Rejection.

In your fluffy opinion piece your central claim is that "it is high time for the U.S. to move to the metric system."

We are not going to publish your piece.  It is not because you don't have a good point about the metric system.  On the contrary, it's that you do not go far enough.  You chicken out in the same way that whatever Europeons did in whatever century when they moved to the metric system, or whatever (I'm currently boycotting Wikipedia, so cannot fill in facts like this).

How is it that you do not go far enough?  You inadvertently mentioned it when you say it is "high time" to move to the metric system.  Yes, it is time to switch to the meter, the kilogram, and the secoond.  What is a secoond?  Well the day would be broken into 10 hoors, each hoor would have 100 minootes, and every minoote would have 100 secoonds.  Hence the day would be a 100 kilosecoonds long. 

For those interested in the transition, 1 secoond = 0.864 seconds.  So it's not all that different.

We'd have to get rid of the year.  We'd use the yoor = 1 kiloday 2.73785079 years.  Birthdays would be rarer.   We'd all be younger!


Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection

1 comment:

  1. Of course

    1 secoond = 0.864 seconds

    is not completely accurate. Anyone care to correct it?