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Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Archer Urges Caution


Dear Sir:

Thank you for considering the Journal of Universal Rejection for the publication of your astronomy manuscript.  The extent of my knowledge of astronomy is a vague understanding of the effect of the zodiac on the stock market.  Our editor assures me this more than qualifies me to review your paper, so let's get right to it.

On the cover page you provided blanks for recording the dates of "received"  and "accepted".  Such optimism!  I received your paper on December 20. This places your submission under the zodiac sign of Sagittarius the archer.  Consulting various reliable sources, I see that for a paper submitted under the influence of the archer the following are applicable:

(1) "You will be lucky in matters of love" 

(2) "Be generous to strangers"

(3) "Avoid physical confrontations with clowns and mimes" 

(4) "Careless acceptance leads to universal destruction and misery" 

Let's review these:  (1) There’s a first time for everything.  (2) Good for your karma.  (3) Excellent advice at any time.  (4) Your paper is rejected.

Have a pleasant day.

Eric Chicken
Associate Editor

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