Thank you for submitting "untitled.odt" to the Journal of Universal Rejection. You are the 24th person to submit an empty document to the Journal of Universal Rejection.
I must congratulate you on two levels.
Firstly, because you are the first person to submit an empty Open Office document. I take that your aim is to provide a biting social commentary on the state of Word processing today. Your aim, by submitting to us, is drive a sudden wedge into the monopolistic control of Microsoft Corp. Like the toenail of a penguin that slabs an enormous iceberg off of the Ross Ice Shelf, your submission is the final claw, and like that same icerberg, once afloat, 90% of its meaning is underwater! I predict that within a few days of the publication of this rejection letter, it will no longer be necessary for every single job applicant to waste space on a resume writing "Microsoft Office"
Secondly, by naming your document "Untitled," you follow in the footsteps of such great artists as Jean-Michel Basquiat, Mark Rothko, Emily Dickinson, Charles Simic, ... The list goes on and on. A bit of their greatness has rubbed off on your work, which glows with a warm amber aura.
We do reject all submissions, empty or not. Therefore--despite the social commentary and glowing halo--yours is rejected.
And trust me, the emptiness we publish is our own, not yours.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection