Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Five JofUR Essay Topics

1) Compare and contrast JofUR and /dev/null.

2) Compare and contrast JofUR and an Orwellian memory hole.

3) What I love most about JofUR.

4) If JofUR were a foodstuff, what foodstuff would it be?

5) Name five causes of the War of 1812.


  1. If I chose a topic and write an essay, will you accept it into your prestigious journal?

  2. Let's just say it's pretty unlikely...

  3. Dear Editor,

    I can't use e-mail as I find it to be specious. So I cannot submit my exceedingly ground-breaking research to your prestigious journal. Nor any other journal. Maybe I'll post it in the comments section, but probably not. I don't know, I'm not really into the acadamy anyway. I'm thinking of becoming an accountant.



    p.s. it would be nice if there was a postal address that I could use to send you hard copies of my facebook pictures (even though the cat stares at me every time I post a letter and it makes me sad).

  4. I am moved to answer #4. It would be "Marshmallow Fluff." It's there, but not really there. It tastes sweet, goes down easily, then you get a headache that lasts for about an hour. The next day, repeat.

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