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Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Kung Fu Master

Dear                  ,

Thank you for applying for an editorial board position.

Becoming an editor here is a lot like becoming a Kung Fu master.

First, one must learn patience.  Which is why we didn't respond to your email for four months.

Next, one must learn to wax-on-wax-off one's car with a sponge plucked from the depths of somewhere really deep, and wax gathered from a beehive in the Hundred Acre wood.  (Optional)

Finally, one must learn to reject everything, even oneself.  In that vein, perhaps you could write a rejection of this blog post:
http://fivefeetofftheground.blogspot.com/2009_03_14_archive.html
[Editor's note: no, the applicant was not Ingrid Booz Morejohn, nor do I know who that is.  She does have a really awesome name I must admit.  She can say "Booz? Why that's my middle name!"  Then she can turn to her friend John and demand more booze by saying her last name.  Anyway... the reason for having the applicant reject the linked blog post cannot be revealed at this time.  Hey, I just noticed that the blog post is from π Day.  Cool!]

Best,
Caleb

Caleb Emmons, PhD
Editor-in-Chief
Journal of Universal Rejection

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