Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Issues with Issues
Our response upon receipt of the enquiry
What happened with the September 2011 (Vol 3, No 3) issue?
Thank you for the concern. We're working on that issue, but it is not easy to keep these things up-to-date because we don't always keep track of what we publish, and then we have to call a really expensive company. They come out and use very advanced laser-imaging on our (nonexistent) printing-presses to determine the last articles we published. Particles move faster than light; the space-time-continuum develops rents; we are unable to pay these rents; the space-time-continuum is let to someone else; colours invert; meanwhile the staff at JofUR goes to the theatre. It's all very involved, and British. I won't bore you with the details of it.
In the mean time, I can send you a complementary instance of our Journal. But first you'll have to pay for it. (NOTE: I did spell it 'complementary,' not 'complimentary'... in which case it would be free. It's not free, it will just look nice next to that turtleneck you're wearing.)
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection