Thank you for submitting your advertisement copy for your 2012 Wildlandphotos.com calendar to appear in the Journal of Universal Rejection. Sadly I must inform you that, though we are keeping the fee, we are rejecting your advertisement for publication. It has nothing to do with the ad, it's just that we refuse to publish anything in the Journal.
Besides, what would people say when they noticed (as surely they would) that the first submission published in JofUR was from the Editor-in-Chief's brother. That would be a scandal and a half. It would be all over Twitter. We don't wish to investigate the shredability of our credibility with such nepotism. Editors-in-Chief have been overthrown for less. (Not that our Board has any power...)
At least there's always the blog where I can do some shameless promotion of your photography, including the beautiful 2012 wall calendar now available.
Good luck with your sales. And you're lucky I'm choosing to forgot about the whole "Vacuum Cleaner Shark Incident!"
Journal of Universal Rejection