Dear Prof H:
We received submission of one of your cats in an unmarked leaden box to the Journal of Universal Rejection.
inclusion of a radioactive isotope-triggered cat termination device was
of questionable moral grounds. The box was delivered on 25 August,
2011, at which point your cat existed as a dual waveform alive/dead cat
for several days. Sadly we were unable to retrieve the box or read your
instructions re: disabling the radioactive isotope-triggered cat
termination device until today given a zombie velociraptor-induced
backlog on mail service here at the Journal of Universal Rejection.
I have opened the box, and things are not well with your cat.
Although not observed until now, it is quite clear that the cats
waveform collapsed awhile ago due, quite probably, not to the
decay of radioactive isotope and release of toxic gas, etc., but rather
to a lack of appropriate food and water.
Although we do dutifully reject all submissions here, please do not send us any more of your pets.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection
Editor's post scriptum: Thankfully Prof H. really only wrote a pre-submission enquiry. However as a warning we have decided to reply as if he had really sent his cat. No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog post. Let's keep it that way, folks.