Welcome

Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

Search This Blog

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Rhetoric

Dear Lecturer M          ,

Thank you for (sort of) submitting your chapter on Aristotle's Rhetoric for inclusion in the Journal of Universal Rejection. 

I assume that when you wrote:
"The reason for writing is to ask whether you would be so kind as to ignore this chapter prior to rejecting it, and perhaps fail to let me know of any notable omissions or errors?"
that this was a Rhetorical question.  Because it is a Rhetorical question, it requires no answer.  That is, the answer is self-evident. 

You suggested that I not read your chapter submission.  However, I have rejected that request.  Also your request that I not tell you of notable errors or omissions is rejected.  Here are several:
  • When you quote Aristotle, you make-out like he spoke the King's English.  I am pretty sure he spoke Welsh or something.
  • When you claim "emotion and reason are fundamentally intertwined and so such dichotomies between head and heart are flawed," I failed to feel that this sentiment came from your heart.  It seemed to be arrived at by a lot of heavy brain-plodding reasoning.  If you really felt that sentiment in your heart, couldn't you just whip it out and say "Bam! It's because I feel that, brother!  Bam!"  Ya feel me?
  • You misspelt police as polis.
  • You failed to discuss other interesting words that start with rh, such as rhizome, rhinoceros, and rhythm.  Not to mention Rhesus monkey.
  • You use a piece of feminine bodywear as a source.
  • Too many sentences started with "So."
So, for these reasons, and none at all, we are rejecting your piece.

Best of luck in your future sir,
Caleb
--
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Editor-in-Chief
Journal of Universal Rejection

1 comment:

  1. [original letter] Dear Professor Emmons,

    It was delightful not reading your non-editorial in the latest empty issue of JofUR. I do not refer to it in a short chapter attached introducing Aristotle's Rhetoric.

    The reason for writing is to ask whether you would be so kind as to ignore this chapter prior to rejecting it, and perhaps fail to let me know of any notable omissions or errors?

    I appreciate you are likely to be very busy not reading things, but as this chapter is under 3,000 words it should not take long not to read it.

    I hope you might consider ignoring this, should you agree I would of course fail to acknowledge you.

    Best wishes, Kevin Morrell

    ReplyDelete