Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

Search This Blog

Monday, August 8, 2011

Top 5 Papers I Wish Had Been Submitted to JofUR

Note from the Editor-in-Chief:  Normally I only bother to consider papers that people send our way.  But I was inspired to make a list of papers I wish had been submitted to the Journal of Universal Rejection.  So without further ado, here is the list:

#5 Burgoyne, Paul S., Thumbs down for zinc finger? Nature 342, 860 - 862 (28 December 1989)

I don't know who this Zinc Finger guy is.  I suspect he is trying to take over the world.  He definitely deserves rejection.  As to the paper, it probably deserves rejection too.  

Yet again: good enough for Nature, but not good enough for the Journal of Universal Rejection.

#4 Sowa, J. Ontology, Metadata, and Semiotics  Conceptual Structures: Logical, Linguistic, and Computational Issues. Lecture Notes in Computer Science, 2000, Volume 1867/2000, 55-81

This one makes the list in honor of my wife.  These are three of the things she hates most.  Well, I don't know what semiotics is, so I can't tell if she really hates that.  But I know she doesn't like ontology or metadata.

#3 Alexander, G. and Bradley, L.R.  Fostering in sheep. IV. Use of restraint, Applied Animal Behaviour Science, Volume 14, Issue 4, December 1985, Pages 355-364

You might think this is an odd one to make the list.  But from the abstract: 
"The prevention of any close olfactory contact resulted in an intermediate rate of acceptance, even though acceptance was apparently based on olfaction, as shown by universal rejection of strange alien lambs."
Here at JofUR we also practice universal rejection of strange alien lambs.

#2 Elaine Fuchs, Tudorita Tumbar and Geraldine Guasch, Socializing with the Neighbors: Stem Cells and Their Niche  Cell, Volume 116, Issue 6, 19 March 2004, Pages 769-778

Okay, there is nothing particularly funny about this paper.  I only included it so I could gratuitously link back to these posts about the neighbors (whom I reject) and this post about stem cells since people thought those were funny.

#1 Erdoğan Şen, An Inequality for Second Order Differential Equation with Retarded Argument  Advances in Pure Mathematics, 2011, 1, 243-244

This would have been the easiest paper to reject ever!  In its very title it points out its flaw. And then I discovered that there are tons of papers with "Retarded Argument" in the title.  Wow!  I have to change my specialization from Number Theory to Differential Equations!

Okay, that was the list.  Maybe it could have been better, but I had only so much time to look around.  Now I have to make a shopping list and go pick up my son from daycare.  Please add suggestions in the Comments section.


  1. What does your wife have against ontology or metadata?

  2. Dear Caleb;

    reading your post it occurs to me, in a astonishing insight, that you do not appreciate anything from the Social Sciences. As a Sociologist I found that extremely disturbing. Reflecting about it I consider that maybe, who knows, JofUR will accept an article with this title: "Rejection: why it is hard to do it on a paper in the social sciences"....

    What do you think?

    sincerely yours,


  3. Hm, did no papers from the Social Sciences make this list? It could either be because such papers are not as worthy of rejection... or because rejecting them is just too easy. I'll leave it up to you to decide which. Do you have any papers to suggest be added to the list?