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Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Monday, July 18, 2011

Toast

Dear Michael,

as the associate editor for Jurisprudence at the Journal of Universal Rejection, I had the honor of reviewing your submission "I found a toast on my Virgin Mary and this proves the existence of God.", of which you provided the appendix. Last night I was wired the corresponding article - a very stimulating piece indeed. It might actually make it to number 667 (beyond evil, that is) in the literature review at http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

If God does indeed exist (as the article argues), then he has - one way or another - authored the article that you claim to be yours. In that case we would of course have to accept it, according to 1 Timothy 4:4 ("For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude.") Yet among all known manifestations of God, there is none having graduated at Davis. I must therefore call into question the conclusiveness of your paper.

Besides, I take issue with the literature review section that you provide. By the standards of our journal, "GOD is in all things" is not a comprehensive survey, just as "HE sayeth so" is not a proper citation. Since your article ignores pertinent papers such as http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7723841 I am not surprised that you fail to acknowledge the socio-ethnographic
implications of the Virgin Mary imitating a kayayo in meditation. Your article therefore fails to meet the high standards of academic quality and interdisciplinary perspective that our journal presupposes.

On top of all that, there are legal concerns. You will be aware that the JoUR is available (and widely read!) in Denmark. According to Sec. 140 of the Danish Penal Code (Staffeloven), "Den, der offentlig driver spot med eller forhåner noget her i landet lovligt bestående religionssamfunds troslærdomme eller gudsdyrkelse, straffes med bøde eller fængsel indtil 4 måneder." We are not quite sure what that means exactly, but it's something about being jailed for ridiculing religion. Sincere as your article may be, it might be misconstrued, wherefore we cannot publish it in good faith. I therefore reject it.

Best regards,
Hanjo Hamann

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