Dear Prof T.,
Thank you for your submission "Automatic Assumptions of Automaticity" to the Journal of Universal Rejection.
For one thing, you sell yourself short by assuming the outcome will be rejection. Was that an automatic assumption of automaticity? Did you think we have a rejecto-bot? Sadly, no. We should install one. Maybe that is what your paper is about. This editor didn't really have the time or energy left to read it.
For another thing, your assessment of the outcome was spot on. Your work is rejected. We thought the intro lacked punch. Why talk about those other guys and some article they wrote? Just come out of the gate swinging. In fact don't reference anyone else!
Finally, congratulations on having your piece published in American Psycho. I heard that was a creepy publication, but the part I saw of it in your attachment didn't look so bad.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection