Dear Dr. W,
Thank you for sending us your poignant and bloody story "Brocklebank Hollow." While we are as susceptible to stories about murdered mothers as the next journal, we must reject your story on the grounds that our readership is simply not prepared to face the realities of modern dating and the state of publishing. We hope you will consider sending us your next short, micro, hint, or twitter story -- forms of increased interest to our editorial staff.
Sonia Lyris, Associate Editor