Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Lament of the Indigenous Freshperson

Dear Bill,

Thanks for submitting
A poem that was "interesting." 
It's not artifice
If I call it nice.
Some of the formatting was queer,
Like the punctuation at the end of this line here?
And I found it wretched
How some of the rhymes were stretchéd.
And felt enraged
By the biased language. 
We've decided to refrain
From publishing your refrain
For at least a year.
Frankly your work's subpar.

Best regards,

p.s. To say your work is "subpar" is actually a complement.  Isn't the goal in golf to get your scores subpar?

p.p.s.  Your poem was better than mine, but you probably spent more time on it.  That's my lame excuse.

Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection

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