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Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Lament of the Indigenous Freshperson

Dear Bill,

Thanks for submitting
A poem that was "interesting." 
It's not artifice
If I call it nice.
Some of the formatting was queer,
Like the punctuation at the end of this line here?
And I found it wretched
How some of the rhymes were stretchéd.
And felt enraged
By the biased language. 
We've decided to refrain
From publishing your refrain
For at least a year.
Frankly your work's subpar.

Best regards,
Caleb

p.s. To say your work is "subpar" is actually a complement.  Isn't the goal in golf to get your scores subpar?

p.p.s.  Your poem was better than mine, but you probably spent more time on it.  That's my lame excuse.

--
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Editor-in-Chief
Journal of Universal Rejection

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