Dear Dr. B.,
Thank you for the enquiry. We are very much interested in receiving all sorts of papers. You suggest one in the field of cultural anthropology, and that would be fine. However, frankly we would prefer one about aardvarks. Aardvarks are funny animals, and since we're going to reject your paper anyway, we might as well do so laughing. Of course to me, the funniest thing about aardvarks is their name, because it starts with two 'a's and ends with 'vark.' However you may not find this as humorous as I do, given that you probably speak Dutch and just think it means 'Earth Pig.'
Anyhoo, maybe you should stick with cultural anthropology. It seems like you had some good ideas, though I must admit I skimmed them. O o o!, or you could write about wombats.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection