In the great onslaught of late January I received two submissions from people named Martijn. Luckily a month later I was able to reject them both with the same rejection letter. High fives all around.
Thank you for your submission. We have let it sit for a month in our Inbox in case we learned Dutch in the mean time. Sadly for you, we did not. Hence we are rejecting your paper in an unread state. Rest assured this rejection has no bearing on the quality of your work.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection