Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Monday, April 11, 2011


Dear Dr. C.,

Thank you for submitting to the Journal of Universal Rejection.  We've managed to squeeze in a look at your paper. 

Before I can give you a decision on the paper, I have a question.  You write about "the discovery of large gamma-ray emitting bubbles extending above and below the centre of the Milky Way."  I was wondering about eating breakfast.  Sometimes when I eat cereal for breakfast, there is some milk left in the bottom of my bowl.  And I'll purloin a straw from my son's stash and blow bubbles in the milk like a carefree lad. 

My question is this:  Is there any chance that my playful behaviour could be releasing dangerous gamma-rays?  And if so, is it possible to aim these specifically at certain neighbors?  (Namely the ones with the solar-cells on their roofs.)

Thank you for your time.  Please get back to me ASAP.

Best regards,

Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection

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