Thank you for submitting your article to the Journal of Universal Rejection. I notice that the first large word in your email is misspelled. This did not dispose me kindly toward expending any effort in reviewing your article. Since you randomly generated the paper, I think it only fair that I randomly reject it. (I believe I have a coin around here somewhere ... ah, here it is ... tails.)
After careful consideration, your article is rejected.
I firmly believe that all rejection letters should end on a positive note. Therefore, allow me to congratulate you on the correct spelling of many of the words in your email.
Again, thank you for considering the Journal of Universal Rejection.
Eric Chicken Associate Editor Journal of Universal Rejection Editor-in-Chief's note: In this case we dodged a bullet,
as luckily the coin came out tails. Whew!