Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nonstandard Usages

Dear Dr. M., et al,

Thank you for your submission to the Journal of Universal Rejection.  We have studied it in detail, but can't make heads or tails of it.  Perhaps it would help if we looked up the word 'autoclave.' 

We do appreciate your premise of testing whether things can be used in nonstandard ways.  For example, I was just using a toothpick to clean underneath my fingernails.  Then I ate some yogurt with a soup spoon.  If this infernal rain clears up, I'll probably be using the clothesline to dry my clothes. (Oh, I guess that is the standard use.)  I also use the awesome power of this computer and the Internets to carry out a completely pointless task over and over and over again.  (Oh, I guess that is the standard use.)

Congratulations on having your manuscript published in the
Journal of Molecular Proctology.  We at JofUR, however, must pass on it.

Best regards,

Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection

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