Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

My Bad German

I decided to reply to Werner in German.  Unfortunately for him, my German is very bad.  To aid those (like myself) who don't really know German, I have had my wife (who is German) mark every mistake in my letter with an asterisk.  You'll notice that I totally nailed two sentences!  A translation is provided after the letter.

Sehr geehrter Werner,

Bitte verziehen* Sie mir mein sehr schlecht* deutsch*.  Wir danken Sie* fuer das* Artikel.  Ich habe es* nicht gelesen, weil meine* Wortshatz* nicht gross genug ist, um es* zu verstehen.  Ich habe keine Zeit, um ein Woerterbuch zu benutzen.  Dafuer muss ich Sie* sofort berichten dass wir Ihre* Artikel ins* Muell geworfen haben.  Es tut mir leid. 


Dear Werner,

Please excuse me for my very bad German.  We thank you for the article.  I have not read it because my vocabulary is not big enough to understand it.  I don't have time to use a dictionary.  Therefore I have to immediately report that we have thrown your article in the trash.  I'm sorry.



  1. Hi Caleb,

    What is the latest impact factor of JUR?

  2. Why not just rename this journal "Journal of Universal Rejection Letters"? Then you have a journal which is still about universal rejection BUT you get to publish it! yeah.

    *mind blows*

  3. Hahahaha! I agree with May! :D :D