Rejection letters, correspondence, and miscellanea from the otherwise empty annals of the Journal of Universal Rejection.

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Monday, March 28, 2011

The Ann and Teresa and Ann Show

Editor's note: We received a submission from Ann and Teresa and Ann who host the Ann and Teresa and Ann Show on KBGA 89.9 – College Radio at the University of Montana.  They were nice enough to pre-write their own rejection letter. (Attention submitters--this is a great idea.)  It appears below in edited form.

Dear Ann and Teresa and Ann,

Thank you for your recent submission.  While your show made me scream “top of the morning”, we unfortunately must reject it.  What academic journal have you ever heard of that accepts radio shows for publication?  One might think you know nothing about this process.  While you are the first radio show to be rejected, we’ve rejected several music recordings and three dogs.  Feel free to list us as an untrustworthy reference on any further attempts at syndication.  I’d have almost nothing to say about you other than that you had a cool submission.  I shan't be calling you on March 30th, at 8:30 AM Mountain Time, at (406) 243-6226 to reject you by phone because that's smack dab in the middle of my morning commute and we're not allowed to use our cell phones while driving in Oregon.  If you send a SASE, I'll send you a post-it note instead.  Perhaps one of Reprobatio Certa's readers will use the codeword:  CLARKISSTUPID, so you will know the call is from a loyal reader.  Please respond with: NOTASSTUPIDASCALEB.  Maybe you can buy me lunch if I'm ever in Montana. 

Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection


  1. Wow, we are really getting famous now. Any readers should feel free to call us if you feel the urge....you can reject us for Caleb!

  2. Dear Dr. Emmons,

    Thank you for your letter of March 28. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that we are unable to accept your rejection of our radio show for publication in your journal at this time.

    This year, we have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for us to accept all refusals.

    Despite Reprobatio Certa's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
    rejecting all submissions up to this time, we find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, we anticipate publication of our radio show in the coming months. We are particularly interested in seeing how you address the preparation and submission of pre-publication proofs of a radio show.

    Best of luck in rejecting future applicants

    ann & teresa & ann

  3. Dear Ann & Teresa & Ann (& Drew?)

    Did any loyal reader call in to reject you? Just curious....

    Next, I'm afraid others have tried the whole denial of rejection tactic before. I am sorry you are having trouble accepting the rejection, but I'm sure with professional help you will come to terms with it in the long run.