Dear John C. Menzies,
Thank you for your submission "The Adoption of Solar Cell Technology in Western Countries and the Obvious Increase in Obesity" to the Journal of Universal Rejection.
We did not bother to read the attachment because we felt we had a good grasp on the material from your title. We have already warned our neighbors that they should either remove the solar panels from their roofs, or we are going to send them a bill for our lunch at Carl's Jr. Those jerks are causing our weight problems! I knew it all along.
Although the read (or lack thereof) was enlightening, we have decided to reject your submission. I am sure however that you will find the right home for this impressive piece of scholarship.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection