Dear David Tscharke,
Thank you for your submission and criticism of the Journal of Universal Rejection.
First, regarding the criticism. You claimed it was "small," but then there was this whole long paragraph and my eyes almost glazed over just skimming it. I gather that you are suggesting something that would take a lot of work to set up. I reject that notion.
Next, as to your submission. The letter was very nice. With letterhead and all. Great job. However to my mind if one wanted to make a textual analogue of Cage's 4'33", that would be 4.55 pages, not 4.33 pages. So I'm afraid we must reject your work. It was very close to being accepted, so, if you like Sisyphean tasks, I encourage you to not give up.
Caleb Emmons, PhD
Journal of Universal Rejection